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  • Things lawyers, doctors and the rest tell IT guys

    Phones call, voices scream, IT helpdesk answers.

    Every technical guy in IT has been met by a user with the following irritating, but common questions and slurs.

    Don’t worry when someone comes up with these lines because no one really forced you into IT. However, and I say however.. that doesn’t mean you can’t answer them like a boss you are.

    ….here goes..


    1. Are you sure it’s okay now?

    Ans: You’ve got better options, try it yourself?


    1. Is this a virus?

    Ans: No. .an application shortcut icon


    1. But, what did you do?..You barely touched it.

    Ans: youshould have touched it, yourself.


    1. Am not receiving emails?

    Ans: but you aint receiving Facebook messages either. Check your Ethernet cable connection or Flip the WiFi switch on to connect to the internet first.


    1. Am I going to lose my documents or files?

    Ans: you said your computer was slow..lots of crap on this machine.  Anything not work related gotta go.


    1. You have a funny handwriting. Your grammar too is wanting.

    Ans: I was born in the village, you were born in India. What exactly is you trynasay? Wait, is this even work related?


    1. Is it possible you set up away message on my email?

    Ans: I will. Enjoy all the the SPAM in the world.


    1. Umekujakutuharibia?

    Ans: yes of course, you shouldn’t have called for my help.


    1. All you technical people come to solve a problem and leave a hundred problems by the time you leave.

    Ans: You should have called a motivational speaker maybe.


    1. I’m unable to install IDM, iTunes and Games. Can you help me?

    Ans: No. by the way I heard you went to talk the boss into letting you in on that admin thing. I went to her with that bla bla server n data legend. Am sorry, you still don’t have the admin rights.


    1. I forgot my Password; can you recover it and maybe get me in on it again?

    Ans: Sigh, your password is Password123. You have never changed it.


    1. Can I upgrade to Windows 8?

    Ans: No. you should learn icons on windows 7 desktop first.


    1. Can I get a new computer preferably a mac or i7 pc with a 1 terabyte disk?

    Ans: No you don’t need any MacBook. Do you know what it’s going to take to deploy all custom software  for that model? 1 tb on i7 is a sick thought too. Your “mydocuments” folder current size of thecontent is 30mb.


    1. Youare the guy from the printer services company? We can’t print, access internet, scan or make external calls.

    Ans: and you called our company? We service printers not your network, sorry.


    1. I can’t access the web. Browser says SSL certificate has expired.

    Ans: You shouldn’t have any certificates. You are working on a report and you have no idea what date it is today?


    1. I deleted all my documents. Can you recovery them for me?.

    Ans:I can maybe… if you didn’t press Shift+del… maybe if you did not empty your recycle bin…maybe if you discontinued using the computer at least until a recovery was done.


    1. Is it okay if only you attend to my computer? The other guy messes everything whenever he touches it.

    Ans: you mean to tell me a user who has never sat in a computer class handles this computer better than a computer science graduate?


    1. Intranet site don’t work, unless it’s you login in!

    Ans: Type in URL into address box stop asking Google about your intranet.


    1. I had called you earlier but when it heard you were coming it started working

    Ans:  well, computers too have ears, or a magician I am.


    1. Can you hack into my ex’s Facebook?

    Ans: No! eew shame on you.


    1. I can’t turn on data on myphone

    Ans: Argggg!!!!! gerrarahia




    Murithi DM
    About Murithi DM
    Murithi DM is an administrator and an IT consultant at Infohtech ICT Consultancy Agency.

    phone: +254 (707) 766087
    E-mail: murithi.dm@infohtechict.com